bang bang bang

OMG LAST DAY OF CLASSES JUST FINISHED. AHHHH. w0000t.

was so so nervous about my Hybrid Ids performance, but i think it went super. i'm glad i got to go last. i've been going last all day, presenting my final paper in rachel and lise's class last, bringing up Obama's "A More Perfect Union" speech as a final say in mckinley's course...and to cap it all off, performing "The Amerasian Blues: Shout OUT Call OUT Remix" for everyone in Hybrid Identities, Authentic Selves. man. so much fun. and l.m. did a bomb job with her beat-boxing.

i'd post the poem on here, but i think it's really meant to be experienced as a performance piece first and foremost. indeed i think i'd be more comfortable to post a video of the performance -- unfortunately i did not plan ahead enough to make that possible. ooooh well.

still an incredible incredible day. i want to write more, practice performing more. i'm realizing that this is something i can do. didn't feel like it was "my thing" when i was attending slam collective open mics here but somehow now...maybe through finding other spaces (AiR, CISA, Hybrid Ids) that i feel like are more conducive to my sort of project...i feel like i can. i can do "spoken word" or "slam" in a way that makes sense to me. in a way that i don't feel like i necessarily need to categorize or name. is it "poetry"? "performance art"? i don't know, and what's important is that i keep writing/performing. reflecting on form is important, too, but i don't want to feel like i have to keep doing a form, keep identifying with one form...when i'm at my most creative when i can mash up forms, integrate and break through...

moving
moving
moving



P.S. kim chang wants me to possibly be a t.a./research assistant for a janterm bilingual course on 1st person narratives. 1st person narratives written by chinese people in china, written by chinese people in america, written by chinese americans, written by expats in all directions...memoirs, poems, blogs...taking into deep critical consideration what these various identities, heritages, and histories mean. taking into account different writers' different subjectivities and positionalities. e.g. what might it mean for a white american to study/write about china? what might it mean for someone like me, who was born in china, whose entire extended family lives in china but who has spent most of his life in the u.s.?

and actually prof. chang really wants this course to address problems with "china studies" at hampshire, a loosely organized program that so far does not seem to be aware of its own history and position -- as if somehow "china studies" could just be an "objective" field studied by anyone and everyone (tabula rasa) from the same starting point. when in fact everyone has a different starting point, a different purpose and stake in the learning.

this course would be right up my alley. prof. chang wants to co-teach this course with a colleague who used to be at hampshire, and who i think might be at umass now. and ahhhh kim chang wants to do a course with me!!! **so excited**


ok. back to earth. need to focus on the rest of this semester first. not quite over just yet! FINAL PAPERS. PORTFOLIOS. PREP FOR CHINA SUMMER TRIP.